Autism Fitness Reflection

This summer will mark seven years since I received my autism diagnosis, the biggest turning point I’ve ever had. At the time, I was fixated on how it explained my psychological symptoms, relieved I wasn’t broken. It’s only recently I’ve started reckoning with the physical toll my disability has taken.

I’ve always liked hiking. Even when I’ve been at the angriest with my body, I’ve always been grateful that it’s carried me up hills and through forests in state parks. I would tackle hills with gusto, leaning forward more than normal and, once reaching the top, look down from the top of the hill, enjoying the view I had earned. As I got older, I noticed the aches and pains more. After a five-mile hike several years ago, I had lower back and hip adductor pain for days after. I put it down to being overweight and out of shape. Please know when I state I was overweight, I feel neutral to this fact. The weight gain came about as a by-product of my mental health crisis. I feel enormous compassion for the person I was back then and gratitude that food was the coping mechanism of choice and not something more destructive. Over the years, I slowly lost weight and started enjoying exercise again. I found that the lower back pain didn’t go away as the number on the scale lessened and I got in better shape; it got worse the harder I pushed in the gym. I got new shoes and different inserts for my collapsing arches, hoping that would solve it. It helped a little bit but not enough.

I decided I needed to examine my gait. Everyone from my mom and grandmother to my classmates had commented on it. Not only was I leaning forward, but my right toe was pointing inwards. This new observation sent alarm bells going off in my head. From my exercise degree, I knew this was definitely a contributing factor to the lower back pain. I immediately started correcting my gait. I’m still doing so. Multiple times a week, I get on a treadmill and think to myself, “Pretend there’s a golden thread coming out of your head pulling you upward.” This is the first instruction; the next one I repeat to myself is, “Heel, toe, right toe pointing straight.” I also repeat these to myself when I’m walking around at work. Before anyone recommends that I go to physical therapy, I started this week, and starting next week, I’m attending twice a week.

The experience that humbled me enough was completing my first 5k. I found it addictive and knew I wanted to do more. I also was in so much pain at the end that I knew I could do more without addressing whatever underlying issues were causing the pain. As I’ve been studying for my CPACC exam, I noticed that autism was listed under the cognitive disabilities section. I don’t disagree with this designation, but I think the physical manifestations of autism are important to highlight. Women with autism often experience a problem called hypertonic pelvic floor. All individuals with autism often experience an altered gait because our centers of gravity are different. When these physical manifestations are not addressed, chronic pain is not alleviated.

As I continue to prioritize and learn how to address different physical manifestations of my autism, I hope that I’m able to share different tips and tricks that will be helpful for other people with autism.