Autism Pride
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Autism & Eating Disorders
Since my autism diagnosis at age 23, I have spent a great deal of time sifting through my life experiences and trying to understand how they might be tied to my diagnosis. One of the final puzzle pieces that recently fell into place was the eating disorder I began struggling with in high school, and…
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High School Personal Growth
When I walked into freshman orientation, what grabbed my attention most weren’t the classes or the teachers—it was the glitzy dances: homecoming and prom. My parents had a rule: no dating until sixteen, which meant I couldn’t have a boyfriend until junior year anyway. Of course, prom wasn’t even available to me until then. What…
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What I wish my dentist knew
I’ve been going to the same dentist since middle or high school. I remember when he graduated from the only dental school in our state. Now, years later, he’s balding and carrying some extra weight around the middle—a sign that time moves for us both. In my younger years, I had more energy to mask…
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Autism & Hypermobility
Growing up, I learned quickly I couldn’t trust my body. I’d be standing up one moment and on the ground the next. My torso would turn one way and my legs another. A knee would give out from under me. What would follow would be pain and nausea, and I’d be found by someone holding…
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More than Clumsy: Why Every Fall Deserves a Second Look
One moment everything would be fine, and I’d be upright. The next, I’d be on the floor, a strong wave of nausea sweeping over me, something in the region of my knee moving back into place followed by immense pain. I’d immediately clutch whichever knee had given out from under me to my chest. I’d…
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When Their Pet Becomes Yours: Inheriting a Cat After a Grandparent Dies
It’s been eight months since my second cat, a three-now-four-year-old oscicat, became a permanent part of my household. He was originally my grandfather’s cat. My grandfather loved cats. After the death of his beloved second cat Twinkle, he’d sworn off ever getting another one. When my grandmother got him Tigger, the oscicat, he was comforted…
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Autism Fitness Reflection
This summer will mark seven years since I received my autism diagnosis, the biggest turning point I’ve ever had. At the time, I was fixated on how it explained my psychological symptoms, relieved I wasn’t broken. It’s only recently I’ve started reckoning with the physical toll my disability has taken. I’ve always liked hiking. Even…
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Preparing for Exams: Lessons from a Testing Experience
For days, it felt like a desert, metaphorically and literally. We were stuck with nothing to do while the air was thick with heat. The air conditioning in the building was broken for the first few days of what we called “Audit,” or what I called “The audit.” I’m not sure which is closer to…
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Waiting Room Wars
It never started with shouting, even though that was how this confrontation devolved. The entrance to the office was far from the check-in desk, and awkward eye contact would be established before a word could be spoken. When I had to sit at check-in, I hoped a furtive smile would convey that what was to…
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The Price We Pay
This is the price we pay: knowing from childhood that we are different from other girls, desperately trying to connect, yet still left on the outside. We experience soaring highs and crushing lows, living with crippling anxiety that can only be turned down, never tuned out. We yearn for human connection, but too often, our…
Living on the Spectrum 