Autism Pride
-
More than Clumsy: Why Every Fall Deserves a Second Look
One moment everything would be fine, and I’d be upright. The next, I’d be on the floor, a strong wave of nausea sweeping over me, something in the region of my knee moving back into place followed by immense pain. I’d immediately clutch whichever knee had given out from under me to my chest. I’d…
-
When Their Pet Becomes Yours: Inheriting a Cat After a Grandparent Dies
It’s been eight months since my second cat, a three-now-four-year-old oscicat, became a permanent part of my household. He was originally my grandfather’s cat. My grandfather loved cats. After the death of his beloved second cat Twinkle, he’d sworn off ever getting another one. When my grandmother got him Tigger, the oscicat, he was comforted…
-
Autism Fitness Reflection
This summer will mark seven years since I received my autism diagnosis, the biggest turning point I’ve ever had. At the time, I was fixated on how it explained my psychological symptoms, relieved I wasn’t broken. It’s only recently I’ve started reckoning with the physical toll my disability has taken. I’ve always liked hiking. Even…
-
Preparing for Exams: Lessons from a Testing Experience
For days, it felt like a desert, metaphorically and literally. We were stuck with nothing to do while the air was thick with heat. The air conditioning in the building was broken for the first few days of what we called “Audit,” or what I called “The audit.” I’m not sure which is closer to…
-
Waiting Room Wars
It never started with shouting, even though that was how this confrontation devolved. The entrance to the office was far from the check-in desk, and awkward eye contact would be established before a word could be spoken. When I had to sit at check-in, I hoped a furtive smile would convey that what was to…
-
The Price We Pay
This is the price we pay: knowing from childhood that we are different from other girls, desperately trying to connect, yet still left on the outside. We experience soaring highs and crushing lows, living with crippling anxiety that can only be turned down, never tuned out. We yearn for human connection, but too often, our…
-
Creating Accessible Fourth of July Celebrations
Growing up, I always enjoyed the Fourth of July. The food we had was always something I could enjoy. We would have burgers, made of beef and turkey, hot dogs, also made of beef or turkey, coleslaw (always without onions), baked beans, pickles, and other sides depending on what everyone else was in the mood…
-
College, Seizures, & Isolation
Dealing with suppressed memories has been a gift; it has helped me face my uncomfortable college memories. I remember feeling distant from my peers and often angry with them. At first, I never understood the source of that anger. They were experimenting with substances in ways I never did. I had two seizures in high…
-
Understanding Autism and Its Mental Health Challenges
When I was in elementary school, I read A Real Boy, a book by a mother whose child received an autism diagnosis. It changed the way I thought about autism forever. The family of three—the mother, a journalist; the father, an attorney; and their son—go on a journey, seeking first a diagnosis and then therapies.…
-
Hidden in Pain
I need to hide. Any dark place will do. Maybe, if I disappear, the memories will fade. If I get small enough— if I am quiet enough— Maybe the memories will let me go. They all need to go: the pain, the torment, the ache of never being rescued. Is there a place I can…
Living on the Spectrum 