Why Bella Should Have Chosen Something Else: A Deeper Look

A common trope in romantic comedies and dramas is a love triangle where the protagonist has to pick who they should be with. I grew up with the Twilight book series, and I didn’t understand the appeal until many years later when I watched it in college. Bella, who is ordinary and not extraordinary, is fought over by two men who are not only jerks but also supernatural creatures. I’m sure my female peers loved the idea of being fought over by two attractive men. At the time, I wondered why she had to pick Jacob and Edward? Neither seemed very interesting beyond their supernatural abilities.
They both seemed to switch between controlling and being abusive towards Bella. I don’t understand why she couldn’t have met a nice guy at the bookstore she goes to in the first movie. She visits a local bookstore to research vampires, and Edward follows her there. I have watched enough true crime to know that stalking typically doesn’t end well. Was something wrong with her meeting and dating someone who was just human? They didn’t have to be together forever, give her a baseline for a guy who respected her and had an interest besides not drinking her blood or dating her daughter. I was also concerned because Bella never seemed to have hobbies. Dating a vampire is not a hobby. Any hobby would have been accepted, and there are many options: cooking, baking, sky diving, scrapbooking, stamp collecting, to name a few.
This lack of personal development in Bella’s character is a cause for concern. I would have also preferred her not to get married right out of high school. She didn’t have to go to college. She could have travelled, gotten a job, explored hobbies, or lived with friends—anything that meant personal development without one of those men being involved. Instead, she marries Edward.
Edward and Jacob are at least not related. I find both of them to be equally loathsome for a variety of reasons. Edward consistently thinks he knows better than Bella and is downright cruel to her if he says it’ll keep her safe. Then there’s the age gap. He has many more years of experience, having lived through wars, diseases, and multiple decades. It’s safe to assume that his prefrontal cortex is developed enough to understand better the importance of risk aversion than she does. Edward would have been better off looking for love in a senior living community instead of a high school. Jacob shares the same frustrating characteristic of trying to make decisions for Bella. The role model should be a supportive relationship, not picking between two controlling and abusive ones.
I have been thinking about this topic because I’ve been seeing advertisements for the summer I turned pretty. I have issues with this series as well. My biggest problem is that two brothers are fighting over the same young woman. My understanding is that she is intimate with both. She is apparently engaged to one, ends that engagement, and marries the older brother, Conrad. My first issue is that two men fight over the same woman. I hope that in a healthy sibling relationship, a love interest will not tear the two brothers who love each other apart. I also hope Belly has enough common sense not to date both brothers. Another question I have is, where are the parents of these young adults? Assuming that the dating and romantic relationships started when they were all minors, an involved and aware parent would have sat down with their sons and daughter, respectively, to set them straight. It is doubtful that two brothers happen to be head over heels with the same young woman. It suggests that they are not defined individuals in their own right. I am not saying that two brothers can’t want to be in a relationship with the same woman, but someone in this triangle needs to step away at some point.
In a culture where reaching and maintaining romantic love is often the pinnacle of self-actualization, I understand the appeal of stories like Twilight and The Summer I Turned Pretty. But if a romance is starting to destroy relationships and cause more turmoil than the peace it brings the individual, it’s a good idea to set that relationship aside. I would greatly enjoy seeing a female protagonist in a book akin to the two I referenced earlier, leaving both of the love interests and pursuing something just for their fulfillment.
I’m not able to relate to the female leads, in part, because I was not pursued like that as a teenager, and it’s antithetical to my experience in high school. I’ve written about how watching my peers date, flirt, and navigate male attention felt like another planet. I was figuring out why I didn’t want to wear skinny jeans and why the nerdy boy I’d loved for years didn’t initiate social interaction. I was also up to my eyeballs after my first year with AP social studies courses and worried about qualifying for financial aid in college. The idea of navigating dating while doing all that was so overwhelming, I pushed it aside. Something deep inside me knew that if I were rejected romantically in high school, my ability to accomplish my other goals would be diminished. So, I told myself I would date someone in college. What doesn’t make sense to me now will make sense later.
It took many years before I understood what I needed in a relationship, and it did not all magically improve in college. I wish there were more young adult stories about boys and girls that didn’t involve romance as the focal point. I look back on my high school years without dating very fondly. I took every history class I wanted. I had wonderful friendships. I explored hobbies and interests to their fullest extent. I don’t regret it, and I’m glad I didn’t run into any vampires or werewolves.