Navigating Sensory Issues in Swimming

When I began swimming competitively, it was not a pleasant experience. The five-and-under group got to practice the earliest when the water was the coldest. I remember climbing out, shivering, and wishing I never had to get back in. Not long after, I began swimming during the summer, and my siblings and I joined the local homeschool swim team that practiced at a local swimming club. I couldn’t express it then, but while I loved the sport, the constant and consistent reminders that all the swimmers were more talented than I were hard to swallow. Perhaps I knew even at a young age that there was something different about me. The coordination came naturally to the other swimmers. They could easily communicate from their brain to their limbs.
On the other hand, I could visualize what I wanted my body to do, and when I tried, it never came out looking correct. I struggled mightily with the butterfly stroke. The key with that stroke was simultaneously moving your arms and legs in the same direction. Years later, in middle school, after a swim meet where I had been disqualified for accidentally mixing in freestyle strokes, my swim coach came up to me, confused. “We worked on that in practice,” she couldn’t understand why I had lost form in the water so completely. If I remember correctly, I was on the second lap of the fifty-meter race. I was tired and wanted to be done with the race, and I briefly kicked my feet separately, not together as the butterfly stroke demands. I remember the sinking feeling that accompanied leaving that swim meet. It was time to bring my swimming career to a close.
I remember enjoying the swim team and feeling embarrassed that kids two to three years younger than me could beat me by over twenty-five yards. Also, at that time, I was getting more involved in my church’s youth group, and practice happened at the same time on Wednesday nights, and after my seventh-grade year, I stopped doing the year-round swim team. I often wonder if I should have continued the swim team and how much I enjoyed the sport. My favorite stroke was the backstroke. I never quite perfected counting my strokes to the wall to do my flip turn and push off the wall. Nothing felt better when I counted perfectly and pushed off the wall at the right time. I don’t regret participating in the swim team, as sports and physical activity are essential for the development of all children. I wish I hadn’t been so focused on everyone else’s performance being better than mine. I would have enjoyed the experience of competing and participating in sports if I hadn’t worried about performance as much.
I still enjoy physical activity. It took me a long time to make peace with my relationship with swimming and the sensory issues that accompany it. Internalized ableism, telling myself that not being able to enjoy more than forty minutes in a pool is ridiculous, doesn’t help. I have found a process this swim season that helps. After forty minutes in the pool, I get out and dry off in the sun for a few minutes. Once I have dried a bit, I’m able to apply hand lotion, and that solves the sensory issues for the most part. Finding ways to enjoy activities that can lead to sensory issues and building processes that allow me to cope with those sensory issues are essential. I do enjoy swimming. I also greatly enjoyed going white water rafting, but the wrinkling on my fingers caused much pain. I plan to go white water rafting again, but I will bring waterproof gloves.
I plan to find ways to enjoy my current hobbies and try new ones. Just because how I enjoy my hobbies looks different from how others do doesn’t mean it’s any less enjoyable.