Living Arrangements: From Dorms to Apartments

      One of the most complex tasks I have dealt with since being thrust into adulthood is finding security and moving into housing. The first time I lived away from home was in college, a shared experience. For the first two years, I lived in dorms where we all joked, and all my family resembled a shoebox. After my first two years, I moved to an off-campus apartment with roommates. It was nice to have a kitchen and a private bathroom. This was my first opportunity to practice conflict resolution with people with whom I share a communal living space. I got to practice in the dorms, but mainly, my roommates and I kept to our sides of the room. Living in the apartment provided a necessity for ongoing communication as more people were using the communal spaces than just myself and a roommate. Living on campus is often expensive, and I recommend living at home. I lived in the same apartment for my last 2 years studying at college. There was a brief period of moving home and then to an apartment. This was also a short interlude as the mental health crisis that required the reworking of many things in my life brought me back to my childhood home. I lived with my parents for almost 4 years before moving to another apartment. This time, moving out of the family home has been successful. I have managed to secure new housing and the challenges of moving from place to place. As we move into the new year, I am preparing to move from my second apartment to my third apartment. The pattern that has followed for about 2 years is I am in a space for either a year or a little over a year, and then the rent goes up, and I choose to move to a more affordable place. I look forward to when I can live in a more long-term rental that doesn’t have such rent hikes or buy a living space. There’s a lot to consider, especially given the housing market and the affordability crisis currently wreaking havoc in the United States.

     I have accepted that where I grew up has become too expensive and is not where I would like to raise a family for several reasons. Before my parents moved further towards the country, I didn’t understand my dad’s traffic complaints. Now I do. My hometown has gotten very built up and looks different than it did when I was growing up. I remain flexible about where I will live in the long term. It depends on what works best for me, my future spouse, and any children we would have. There’s also a family commitment to keep in mind. I do have a few preferences or wants when it comes to selecting a place to live long-term. Most of these are going to be, basic and what everyone would like when picking a place to live. The first would be reasonably good schools. Ideally, I would like to homeschool my child or children, but that remains a big question. Having good schools is essential not only for property values but also so that if I end up not homeschooling my children,children, they can have access to a good education. It would also be wonderful to have space so that I can have a few acres, hopefully a nice backyard and space for a dog to run around and play. My third preference/request is not to be a long drive from family. I grew up with both my mom’s and dad’s families within a 2-hour drive of us, and that was nice for holidays. Having that support throughout my childhood into adulthood has been wonderful. 

     The most stressful part of moving has always been packing my belongings and boxes. To start with, most moving boxes are cardboard, and something about cardboard makes my skin crawl. Part of it is the texture, and part of it is the noise it makes when you are unfolding it, or just dealing with it in general. Whenever I have to pack up my belongings, I inevitably lose track of some of them, and it takes weeks, to find everything again. I always have grand plans on making a list on the box or on my phone of what is in every box, and I somehow run out of time during every move. This upcoming move, I am very grateful that my mom was able to get me some plastic bins I can put my stuff in, which still presents some sensory issues but a lot less than cardboard boxes. Besides packing my belongings and boxes, the changes accompanying a move aren’t very pleasant—figuring out where I’m going to throw away trash, where to get my mail, and navigating the new apartment complex are just a few of the complexities that I do not find the most enjoyable.

A new apartment does bring new neighbors and new experiences which I do enjoy. Meeting new people and having new experiences is one of the best things about life.