The Importance of Supporting Foster Families

I have been interested in the foster care system for years. Right after graduating college, I visited my best friend in California, who was completing an internship. Her host family had fostered children, and I was speechless listening to their stories. I was stunned by how utterly this family had been dedicated to trying to help children and families that they weren’t related to and didn’t know until a child from that family was placed with them. What I found fascinating and depressing was that so often these kids didn’t have a healthy, functional adult in their lives consistently. Not only were the children struggling, but the parents had often been in foster care or had some childhood trauma that affected their ability to parent effectively. I continued watching from afar. I’ve been a consumer of the content of two foster care content creators, Be the Village and The Fosters. The first is a family specializing in teenagers, and the second is a family that adopted two boys from foster care who they initially fostered until reunification was no longer an option. They have had their fair laundry list of complaints with their county and state systems. What they both kept reiterating that stuck with me was that the children who end up in foster care don’t ask to be removed from their families of origin. Not only are they suffering due to circumstances that aren’t their fault, but the trauma they endure puts them at a disadvantage for so many years if not a lifetime. They are more likely not to graduate high school and end up homeless and in prison. This seemed too big of a problem not to get involved in some problem. In my state, there are around fifteen thousand children in care at any one time. Nationwide, there are hundreds of thousands. The challenges faced by foster families are immense, from navigating the complex system to dealing with the emotional and behavioral issues of the children in their care. They need all the support they can get. 

For a few months, I have been attending a church with a ministry supporting foster families. I finally had an opportunity to get involved. I signed up for their foster parent’s day out, and that was this past Saturday. I signed up for the nursery, which had children ages zero to two. I was nervous because I had never volunteered with this church before and I didn’t know what the children were going to be like. I had such a wonderful time and a great day. We played on trains, with construction workers, with dolls, on the playground, etc. I was exhausted by the end of the three hours we spent with the kiddos, but I really enjoyed it. The joy and fulfillment I felt from spending time with these children was indescribable. I’m looking forward to when I’m a mom myself, but I’ve started to realize that there are children who need adults in their lives now. I still want to have children of my own one day, but that’s still a few years away. In the meantime, I want to support the parents and children around me. Volunteering at Foster Parents Day Out was my first step to finding ways to do so. 

I used to think that I only really enjoyed the newborn baby stage. You get to hold them at that stage, and they are so cuddly. I’ve had opportunities with older children, such as toddlers and elementary school-aged children. I have found these ages to be just as enjoyable for different reasons. Seeing them develop their personalities and discover their interests is so rewarding. Of course, each age has its challenges, but I’m so excited for each phase I’ll enjoy with my children in the future. Until then, I hope I can provide some relief for those around me who are neck-deep in child-rearing. I have already signed up for a different parent’s day out in December, and I’m looking forward to that very much. A child doesn’t have to be biologically related to me for me to have a close and meaningful relationship with that child. I want to have a positive impact on as many young people as I can.