Food and celebration are often inextricably linked. My family typically begins cooking/ baking extravaganza on Thanksgiving. My family frequently hosted Thanksgiving because my parents had enough room and a centrally located home. Almost every year, mounds of mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, turkey, sweet potato casserole, sausage stuffing, and pies would be assembled on the dining room table by my parents and other adult relatives. I always needed to eat all that food once because it was not made during the rest of the year. This created a scarcity mindset, and I would end up stuffed after the festivities. After getting diagnosed with binge eating disorder, my primary care provider referred me to a dietician who specialized in helping those with eating disorders find recovery. She helped me find balance with food. During one of our first sessions, she brought up the scarcity mindset regarding the holidays. She asked, “ If we had Thanksgiving food every day of the year, instead of just once a year, would we still eat so much of it day after day? Of course not; we would be sick of it, and it wouldn’t be special”. This struck me as profound. I tested this theory by making green bean casserole for myself. I would often crave it during the fall season and make myself wait until Thanksgiving to eat it. I made it but was sick of it after the third or fourth serving. Over a year later, I still do not crave green bean casserole. This Thanksgiving marked one of the first I remembered when my family and I would not eat the traditional fare. My mom has decided we are doing lighter fare this year, such as soups and salads. I’m cheating by making zucchini bread and a chicken pot pie so that it feels a bit more to my preferences. At first, when my mom announced the menu change this year, I felt forlorn. What was I going to do without the sausage stuffing? Mashed potatoes with gravy are the closest thing to heroin I’ve ever encountered. And then I remembered how stressful it was for my parents to host. I also remembered that I likely have many years to come when I can eat traditional Thanksgiving food if I so choose.
No one is guaranteed another on this earth, but would my life lose meaning if I never had mashed potatoes again on Thanksgiving? The answer is no. I started to get excited about the new menu, and I’m excited to have zucchini bread for dessert. Pies do rather sit heavy on one’s stomach. In the spirit of rethinking expectations around the holidays and being creative, I’m also letting go of the expectation that to be in a “serious” relationship, you must spend every holiday together. Now, why did I think this way? One can only guess. My sibling’s partners have tended to be with them for the holidays, my parents don’t do social events without each other, and we spent all the holidays together in my last relationship. My therapist, who is a master at calling me out on my bull shit, informed me that not every couple spends every holiday together, and simply expecting is not a good idea. So, my boyfriend and I will not be spending Thanksgiving together, and while I’m sure I will miss him, I’m excited about the holiday. My sister, her boyfriend, and friends living out of state will spend time at my parents’ house. I often do not spend much time with her, so I’m excited about this quality time. I might even have time to study for my certification exam that I’m hoping to take next year. Nothing says happy holidays like curling up with a textbook and cracking it open to the section on medical coding compliance. This journey of self-discovery and personal growth has empowered me to embrace change and new experiences.
There are multiple ways to celebrate the holidays, get into the season’s spirit, and enjoy quality time with family and friends. As I get older, I enjoy expanding my idea of what being in the holiday season means.
Living on the Spectrum 
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