Some of the best things in life can’t be planned for. I’m someone who loves to have a plan, it soothes my anxiety and makes me feel like I have control in a world where so much of it seems out of control. I’m starting to find joy in unexpected places. I enjoy learning software when I always thought I wasn’t smart enough to have a career involving software programming. I also have to say that I didn’t expect the current adventure I’m going on regarding dating. 

I’ve been in a few relationships and each time one ends, it typically takes me a year to re-enter the dating world and get my feet under me. I took a few months and jumped back into the pool. I’ve been talking to my current boyfriend for a total of a month and we’ve been exclusive for about two weeks. This past weekend, I went to where he works. I’ve never visited the workplace of anyone I’ve dated. Most of my relationships happened in college and no one had a job to see. I have to say, once I got there my social anxiety shot through the roof. I should preface this by saying everyone I met was super nice and the environment was laid back. For context, he works at a gaming store. I know nothing about what a friend clued me in are called tabletop games. I’m glad I was handed a rulebook for the game currently being played. I tried to understand what was going on but I only had a vague idea. If any of the five people who read my blog play Warhammer Age of Sigmar, please let me know how you learned to play. Sitting there I felt so awkward. Then I got poked in the back by C (we can call the guy I’m currently dating). I burst into laughter because he was smirking and I felt so much better. If you’d told me that I’d want to spend my free time at a gaming store a year ago, I would’ve thought you were not entirely sane. I like that I’m being exposed to new things and learning about hobbies I never would’ve thought to explore. I think that’s one of the wonderful things about dating. You get to explore parts of your partner’s world and they teach you things that you never would’ve learned without them. 

I used to think that I needed to date someone very similar to myself. I thought they needed to have similar hobbies, jobs, personalities, etc. I made the mistake of thinking that compatibility and similarity are the same. My current boyfriend and I don’t have the same hobbies but we have similar values. He helps me view the world through a different lens. I want to encourage you this week to look for unexpected joy in your life.